We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
