Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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