when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
