I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize