that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I think a kid would responsible me up
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
