I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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