I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
