i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
