if i can run in heels then i can drive
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
