im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
