Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
we should paint friendship bongs
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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