ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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