was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
