we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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