Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
that's an acceptable place to lick
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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