If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
