his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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