Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i wish my penis had a tongue
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
