At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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