And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
