You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize
