That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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