Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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