This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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