i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
