Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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