You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
