false alarm. still invincible.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
