so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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