The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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