Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
