if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
