home. puking in laundry basket.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
