Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
