I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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