some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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