She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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