Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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