hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
