Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
