whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
