Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
