I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
