sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
