So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
