god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
