was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
