i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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