found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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