If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
