Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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