he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize