Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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