is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
this must be what syphilis tastes like
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
