idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
