Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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