if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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