$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Randomize
