I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
