nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Panties = found
Randomize
