I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
