Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
