hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
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