I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
